A fellow told about the day his wife sat down on the couch next to him and asked what’s on TV.
“Dust,” he answered.
That’s when the fight started.
Another fellow told about the day his wife hinted that she wanted something shiny that would go from 0 to 200 in a matter of seconds. So, he bought her a bathroom scale.
That’s when the fight started.
Another fellow saw his wife looking into the mirror. She turned to him and said “I feel old, fat and ugly. I really need you to give me a compliment.
He replied: “Your eyesight is perfect.”
That’s when the fight started.
There must be hundreds of those old jokes floating around these days. I thought they might be a good way to start a discussion of what you shouldn’t say if you want to enjoy Valentine’s Day, one of the days that have been set aside to celebrate love.
The Bible has much to say on the topic of love, and perhaps the most beautiful of those passages is in 1 Corinthians 13, which Christians have dubbed “The Love Chapter.”
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; love is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; Love is not irritable or resentful; Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
From time to time, pastors will call on their congregations to insert their individual names in that verse in place of the word “love” to see how they measure up. Honest men or women find that they fall short. However, they also find that one name inserted there measures up perfectly, and that is the name of Jesus.
The exercise of inserting our own name, I expect, does challenge us to try to do better when it comes to loving others.
And, certainly, we should try to do a better than the fellow whose wife demanded that he take her to someplace expensive. So, he took to her the gas pump. That’s when the fight started.
Christ never runs short of salvation
By Roger Alford
A fellow went to the flower shop and asked for geraniums.
“I’m sorry, but we have sold out of geraniums,” the clerk said, “but we have our marigolds on sale if you’d like some of them.”
“No thank you,” the man said. “It was geraniums my wife asked me to water while she was gone.”
We’re all certain to forget things from time to time. That’s why we need reminders. The Apostle Peter did that for us in a letter he wrote long years ago:
“I am stirring up your sincere mind by way of a reminder, that you should remember the words spoken by the holy prophets and the commandment of the Lord and Savior spoken by your apostles. Know this first of all, that in the last days scoffers will come, following after their own lusts, and saying, ‘Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all continues just as it was from the beginning of creation (2 Peter 3:1-4).”
“But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. The Lord is not slow about his promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:8-9).”
Peter went on to remind us that the day will come when “when the heavens will pass away with a loud noise, the elements will burn and be dissolved, and the earth and the works on it will be dissolved.”
Many people in this world don’t want to be reminded about such things as this. Others scoff at what the Bible says on this topic.
Even so, Peter felt it crucial to remind us that God has an end planned for this world, and because that end is fast approaching, we need to get ready.
The man in the opening story went to the flower shop to find geraniums to prepare for his wife’s return.
It’s not flowers we need to prepare for Christ’s return. For that, we need salvation. And, while a flower shop may sell out of geraniums, Christ never runs short of salvation.
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Roger Alford of Owenton, Kentucky, offers words of encouragement to residents of America's heartland. Reach him at rogeralford1@gmail.com.
