I have mixed emotions about this year’s Father’s Day. My dad passed away in February, after a long battle with cancer. I suspect I was better “prepared” than some, as Daddy and I had talked about his passing on and off in recent years – especially during the fall and winter.
He did not want to die in the hospital, but he never knew he was there. I was sitting at the foot of his hospital bed when he drew his last breath. It was a relief – for him and me. His hard-fought battle had ended. He went to sleep at home in Starkville the night before after watching his beloved MSU Bulldogs win a basketball game. Daddy went to sleep with a smile, I suspect.
John Miles Johnson would have completed his 88th year of living on Friday, June 15. He said many a time that he had lived a wonderful and fulfilling life, even after he was diagnosed with cancer in 1995. He enjoyed life. He shared his joy. He did not talk much about the pain. He was always thinking about those around him, especially in the last years.
This week, with his birthday and Father’s Day, I am remembering his stories and jokes. He had quite a few that always made me laugh, even though I had heard them for decades. I am remembering some many things he taught me, mostly by example. When necessary, he explained life to me…sometimes with details…sometimes I had to learn by myself, the “hard way.”
I also recall how hard his early life was, when his father was so sick, and after his father died when Daddy was only six years old, and his sister was eight. Life for the remaining three members of the family was hard. My grandmother sacrificed so much for my dad and his sister. Daddy cried about that just weeks before he died.
I know Daddy knew that he would always be on my mind and in my heart. And I know he knew he would continue to make me laugh, as well as recall fond memories of him. Yes, I have cried. Tears have run down my cheek a time or two writing this. But in the last four months, I have laughed much more remembering Daddy, than crying over his death. Yes, I miss him more than I could imagine.
I say all this, hoping it may help some one else who may be going through the same thing this year. There is always something good, funny, tender, or loving to recall. Remembering those moments has certainly helped me.
Fathers – this weekend be sure to hug your children and tell them how much they mean to you! Sons and daughter – give your dad the biggest hug possible and tell him how much you appreciate him and love him! Time is flying. Express yourselves this weekend! HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!
