This week’s column is dedicated to all you wonderful Mothers.
When God Created Mothers
When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into his sixth day of “overtime” when an angel appeared and said, “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.” And the Lord said, “Have you read the specs on this order?”
· She has to be completely washable, but not plastic
· Have 180 movable pats, all replaceable
· Run on black coffee and leftovers
· Have a lap that disappears when she stands up
· A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair
· And six pairs of hands
The angel shook her head slowly and said, “Six pairs of hands….no way.”
“ It’s not the hands that are causing me the problems,” said the Lord. “It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”
“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel.
The Lord nodded. “One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs and say, ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering another word.
“Lord,” said the angel, touching His sleeve gently, “Go to bed. Tomorrow….”
“I can’t,” said the Lord, “I’m close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine-year-old to stand under a shower.” The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly.
“It’s so soft, she sighed. “But is she tough!” said the Lord excitedly. “You cannot imagine what this mother can do or endure.”
“Can it think?” asked the angel.
“Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek. “There’s a leak,” She pronounced. “I told you, You were trying to push too much into this model.”
“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord.. “It’s a tear.”
“What’s it for?” asked the angel.
“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”
“You are a genius,” said the angel.
The Lord looked somber. “I didn’t put it there,” He said.
Here’s one of this mother’s recipes
MAYONAISE CHICKEN
4 deboned chicken breasts washed and dried, ½ cup of mayonnaise, ¼ cup of Parmesan cheese, grated, 4 T. rotisserie chicken seasoning, 1 ½ cups of seasoned breadcrumbs. Mix the cheese and chicken seasoning with the mayonnaise and drub on all sides of chicken and then coat with the breadcrumbs. Cook on a parchment paper lined sheet at 400 degrees for 20 minutes or until the juices run clear. So moist and tender.
